Interview with a vampire: The Hannibal King story
by TriplePTheGame
Summary: The title basically tells the summary. It's in first person. It's pretty funny. Rating may change
1. Date with Danica

**Hi there! How's it hanging? I sure that it's hanging just fine, right? So, hm...this is my first Blade: Trinity FF, and probably my only one. This just popped into my head last night. So I wrote it. Hope you enjoy. R&R!  
Copyright: No...I don't own Blade: Trinity...or Ryan Reynolds. DAMNIT!**

You know the kind of woman that you just know is bad? She just sends off an alarm in your head for like 3 straight hours, but you still go up to her and talk to her? Yeah…I met one of those 5 years ago. And let me inform you, that was probably the worst 5 years of my life…if you could call that a life. Now, I'm guessing you guys want to hear my nifty little story, eh? Well…sit back, relax and grab yourself a bag of popcorn. This is going to be a _long _ride.

So, it was a normal night, ya know? Partying with the boys, trying to a get a girl at some dance club. The whole sch-bang. Well, my buddies and I left the club and decided to go drink some. Wrong night to go and drink something, let me tell ya. So we all sat down at some booth and ordered some drinks. When one of my friends dared that I go and talk to this Betty sitting alone at the bar. I was, still am, a dare devil, and I will never refuse a dare. So, I got up, waltzed over to her and plopped a squat right next to her.

"Hey there." She turned to me and smirked.

"Hello." She said. I stared right at her eyes, and I swear it's like they hypnotized me. In the worst way possible, they were beautiful. I couldn't look away.

"Uh…" I waved for the bartender to come. When he did I order two martinis. "Anyways, what's your name?"

"Danica." She said. Shivers went straight down my spine. You may be wondering…why didn't you just leave? Why didn't you get up and walk away? I didn't want too. For some bizarre reason, I was attracted to her. To this day, I don't. Know. Why.

"Just…Danica? No nifty last name?" She laughed and put her hand on her neck, leaning against the bar.

"Talos." I just nodded. "And what's yours?"

"Hannibal King." I looked over at my friends and gave them that thumbs up that you always give your friends when something is finally going right. The bartender brought us our drinks and I took a sip out of mine. "Tasty." She just laughed. _Holy shit…is this chick actually intrested in me? _I thought to myself and crossed my arms. "So, Danica Talos, what do you do?"

She just looked at me, and smirked again. My God, I hate that smirk. "You know this and that. I change jobs frequently. And you, Hannibal King?"

"Eh, I don't have a job. Never felt like getting one." She just sat there, laughing, and looked me up and down. Almost like I was the fucking Mona Lisa, ya know? So, we got to talking, telling each other about ourselves. She told me about how she used to be a catholic school girl. I didn't give two shits. But I made it seem like I did. Apparently, I did a good job because she wanted me to come home with her. I looked back at where my buddies were sitting. They left. I figured it'd be okay, so I left with her. May I take it upon myself and say that I used to be really, really stupid.

So, we walked to her apartment, it was one very nice apartment, lemme tell you that. She pushed me down on her couch and started to kiss me. Oh boy, Danica. She broke the kiss and smiled at me. Now, before I continue, notice how before I used the word 'smirked'. And now she smiled. There's a difference. Onward.

"What the fuck?" I asked and stared at her teeth. "Are those…fangs? Why the hell do you have fangs?!" That did it. I mean, I was slightly creeped out when she asked me to her house, but fangs the fangs just put the icing on the creepy cake. At that same moment, I learned why never smiles.

"Good guess, Lover." She told me. I raised an eyebrow and started to scoot down the couch.

"Lover?! Have you gone off the deep end?" Every time I scooted, she came after me, still smiling like a fuckin' banshee.

"No I haven't, Lover." I scooted all the way to the end of her couch and fell off it.

"Jesus…" I muttered and backed away from her. She was kept on following me. That's all she did. Smile and follow. It was the weirdest thing. I backed into a corner and my jaw just dropped. "Shit…"

"What's wrong, Lover?" She asked me while sitting herself on my lap.

"I'm not your fucking 'Lover'." She put her hand my cheek and caressed it.

"Yes you are. You have been since you first laid your eyes on me." I moved her hand off my face and tried to push her off. But for some reason, I couldn't move her. It was like she put cinderblocks in her ass cheeks or something. "Don't try to resist, King. You're strength in draining out of you." I stared at her.

"What'd you do?!"

"While we were kissing, Lover, I slipped something in your mouth."

"You little bitch!" I started to spit out whatever she did put in my mouth. And on 'accident', I have spat in her face. "Whoops! Sorry!" That, I will admit, was a bad move on my behalf. But a funny one, none the less.

"You will be in a minute, Lover." Before I could've made a smartass comment, she yanked my head to the side and took a nice bite into my neck. Hurt like a bitch. I did try to get her off my neck, didn't work. Whatever she made me swallow was working. Not only that, but I was loosing more blood then a woman does her whole life. You guys know what I'm talking about.

Anyways, I'm assuming that I fell unconscious and she sucked me dry because, I don't remember anything after that. Well…until I woke up. But the place I woke up wasn't this nice little bedroom with a toy train going around the top. Oh no. This place basically sucked. There was absolutely nothing in there, except a pair of chains. Can you guys guess who those were for? If you guessed me, you are correct! They kept me there, tortured me, and then took me out to suck some blood. Not _that's _what I call fun. But I'm getting ahead of myself here, aren't I?

"Wake up, King." I heard Danica say to me while snapping her fingers.  
"Ah…fuck me…" I muttered and tried to stand up.

"That'll happen eventually, Lover." She grinned and laughed. I don't know about you guys, but if someone said that to you, wouldn't you guys feel the least bit uncomfortable? I know _I_ was. But anyways, I felt weak as hell, tired as hell and for once, scared as hell.

**R&R, please!**


	2. First Feeding

**Yay for me! I'm back! And I actually got reviews, which really surprised me. I didn't think that people read Blade stories. Let alone Blade: Trinity. But who cares? Uhm yeah. I like this chapter. I find a bit funny. And uh...don't mind the typo's I always right this at the ass-crack of dawn. :D (Pssst. R&R)  
Copyright: Still not owning. I will never own. But I do own it on DVD. Unrated version none the less!**

So eventually, I sat up and glared at her, "What the hell did you do to me, you cocksucker?" If you ask me, that is one big change of opinion's in about 3 or 4 hours. Moving on. Before Danica could respond, the door to the room opened and walked in two guys. Great, right? One was kind of dinky; the other one looked like he's been on steroids since he came out of his mother's womb.

"She turned you into one us, idiot." Said that overly large one.

"What did you think?" Asked the other.

"Shut up!" Danica told them. I looked around, confused as all hell. I reached my hand up to my teeth and felt fangs. I tried to yank them out, oh man that did a lot. All three of them started to laugh at me.

"Aw, fuck you." I spat at them and continued to yank at them. "Who the hell are you anyways?"

"I'm Asher," I sighed. "And this is Jarko."

"Jarko? What the hell kind of name is Jarko?!" He walked over to me, shoving Danica out of the way, and wrapped his overly large hand around my neck.

"Got a problem with it, Kingshit?" The beginning of the worst nickname you could have in your life. Kingshit. Booger Eater and Butt Picker are nothing compared to that. At least those go away. I've had this one for 5 fucking years. What the hell is a Kingshit anyways?! Did a king take a grand shit or something?! The king of all shits?! I don't get it! …Anyways, Danica eventually slapped the caveman and he let go.

"Stop it, Jarko. He's my toy."

"Yeah, no…no I'm not." I told her and rubbed my neck. She turned to me and glared. Asher just smirked and leaned up against the wall, staring at me like I was a god damn baboon doing a dance.

"Yes you are, Hannibal."

"No I'm not. I was not made in a factory. You cannot take off my arm and pop it back in. Believe me, I've tried." I started to laugh again. Come on, admit it. That was a good one. Well…Danica didn't think so. She slapped me. "What the hell?!"

"Stop it with your stupid sarcasm! It's not funny!" She told me and started pace.

"Actually…it is." I told her and smiled slightly. Yeah. I was pissing her off. It felt great, just for the record.

"Okay, fine, King, fine! Keep on making your fucking jokes. We'll just leave you here!" She nodded once and Asher and Jarko followed her out the door. I just sat there and looked around.

"Alright! Goodbye to you too!" I shouted at them and looked down at the chains I had on.

So, right now you're probably wondering, why'd they lock you in there?! Well, it's because they wanted the thirst to build. Do you guys want to know what it feels like to have that? Of course you do. Well, have you guys ever woken up in the middle of the night and you were really fucking thirsty? So you get up, and go to the kitchen and drink the first liquid thing you can find. Well…it's kind of like that, but a hell of a lot worse. See this thirst, you can't just drink a glass of water and feel refreshed. No. This one you gotta drink something specific. Blood. Yeah…I don't like blood. I mean, I have it and uh, it doesn't taste too scrumptious in my opinion. But that's what vampires do, they drink blood. Day in and day out. Blood this. Blood that. And let me tell you, the taste gets so repetitive. Unless once you get that really bad tasting guy and you're like, "What the fuck do you eat?! A piece of shit everyday?!"

So, going on with this, a day or two later, Danica, Asher and Jarko came back. By that time, I was hungry and the thirst did, in fact, build. She walked over to me and stood in front of me. By that time, I felt like shit. Danica just smirked and lifted my head so I could look at her. Not that I wanted too, or anything. "How you feeling, King?" I just looked at her like she was crazy, which she was. "Not so good? I didn't think so…"

"Then why did you ask?" There I go again.

"It was more a rhetorical question, idiot." Asher responded for her. I just glared at him and looked back at Danica. "What do you want?"

"I think it's about time for your first feeding, Lover." I sighed heavily.

"Once again. I am _not _your lover!" Jarko just stood there, with his arms crossed and nodded.

"Yes you are." I whipped my head towards him and cocked an eyebrow.

"No, I'm not yours. Or hers. I'm nobodies!" I couldn't help but smirk. Come on, that one was good too. Don't deny it.

"Whatever." Danica nodded and looked over to Asher. "Bring him in, Ash. And Jarko, give me that chair." Both of the idiot's did what she asked. And I just sat there, confused.

"Why…are you getting a chair? What if I don't want your company?"

"Shut up." She told me, sat down in the chair and crossed her legs. Eventually, Asher dragged in the room some random dude, knocked unconscious.

"What's he for?" I asked. I guarantee you they thought I was retarded or something.

"Feeding, you fruitcake." Asher said and leaned up against the wall.

"What the hell is he going to do? Feed me baby food?" Now, just for the record, I knew what they _wanted _me to do. I just acted like I didn't. Slick, right? Right. So, Jarko picked the guy up and put him down in front of me.

"Go on, King, start feeding." Danica told me and leaned back in the chair. I just stared at them like a cow would stare at an on coming train. "Go."

"How about…no?"

"Go, you idiot!" Asher told me. I turned my head towards him.

"No." I started to push the guy away from me with my feet. Danica just glared at me.

"Why the hell not, King?"

"Because I really don't want to!" Rolling my eyes, I kept on pushing him away. I watched, from the corner of my eye, Danica nod and Jarko walked towards me and punched me square in the jaw. "Oh…yeah…that's going to feel good in the morning."

"I'm sick of your smartass remarks." Danica muttered and kicked me in the face. Which let me say, really hurt. She likes to wear high heels. And being kicked in the face with a pair really, really hurts. I don't suggest it. "Start feeding!"

"I said no! I didn't want to before; I'm not going to now!" See, right here…I really, with all of my being, did not want too. But, I knew that I had too. I mean, being a vampire, you want blood. It gets you through your day. I didn't even try it and I wanted some blood. What the hell?

At that time, I kept on saying no, and they kept on punching and kicking me. But Asher joined now, oh boy. "C'mon, Kingshit, you know that it's building." Punch. "And you know that you want to." Right now, my mouth was bleeding like a fish just got gutted. I looked over at Danica and spit blood right in her face.

"Is that a good answer for you?" For some reason, unknown to me, that pissed Jarko off. He grabbed my neck so damn hard and just stood there squeezing it. Yeah, I tried to get him off my poor neck, nothing really happened. Jarko Grimwood is a huge dude! You do not want him choking you. It feels like you have a monster truck parked on your throat. "Fuck you…" I managed to choke out and spit more blood in his face. I felt accomplished after that feat. He let go and wiped my blood off his face. And another thing unknown to me happened, _Danica _started to rub my neck in a very loving way. I mean, you can't help but wonder if this lady is bipolar or something.

"Poor, King, you look so helpless…"

"Well, I think you would be too if you were chained to the ground." I grabbed her hand and moved it away from me. "No touchy."

"But what about last night?" She leaned a bit closer to me.

"That was before I found out you were a blood sucking bitch." I smiled widely and spat more blood in her face.

"Okay! Fine! Have it your way, you bastard!" She stood up, kicking the chair out of the way and left the room. Thank god, right? Once she left, Asher walked over to me while Jarko stood a little bit behind him.

"You don't want to get on her bad side. Believe me." Asher told me and crossed his arms.

"Okay…why are you telling me this?"

"Because I'm her brother, I know these things." I heard Jarko scoff in the back round.

"You're more then her brother." He muttered. I raised an eyebrow and looked at Asher.

"Oh…that's sick man. That's sick." I told him and shook my head.

"Fuck both of you." Asher said and walked out of the room. Jarko just laughed and followed behind him.

**R&R Peeeeps!**


	3. Danica's Asshole, Maybe?

**Ha. This chapter is 1234 words. Ha. Haha. ...Hi! How are ya?! Ya good? I like this chapter. Sorry it took me so long to update. I've had choir concerts coming out of the yingyang. As always! R&R!**

So, the three stooges left me in the room, still chained up and with that random dude they probably got off the street. And that's just sick, ya know? Who really wants to stick their teeth into some guy from God knows where? He could have AIDS or something. That's not right? That's the thing about vamps, you didn't _care _who the hell you were practically eating, you really didn't. You didn't care if the had an STD or they had cancer or something shit like that. And that's just…not right.

So, continuing on, I stared at that guy, really, _really _wanting to take a big ole bite out of his jugular vein, but I didn't. And another weird thing was that, the whole night, the guy _never _woke up. Which is odd, wouldn't you think he would? Oh well…some things I'll never figure out.

Anyways, the morning came and they didn't come. Peculiar, eh? I know I thought it was. I mean, c'mon people, if you have three weirdo's come into a room where you're chained to the fuckin' ground _not _come in the room where you're chained to the ground, you'd be confused. Well, afternoon came, they still didn't come. Which, I was happy about. But, that dude in front me was really starting to look tasty. If you remember me saying I was weak, you should've seen me then. I could barely lift my arms. It was bad. And after the afternoon, you know that night comes…at least I hope you do. And they gave me a visit that night.

"Why hello, King. We're going to take you out tonight." Danica told me while walking her creepy ass into the room.

"Oh boy." I said, sarcastically.

"I still see you haven't fed yet…" I just looked up at her and gasped.

"Whoa, where'd you get that deduction from, Sherlock?" That was a good one too, admit it!

"Shut the hell up!" Jarko said and walked over to me. He had a key in hands. Were they actually going to let me go? Holy shit. Party time. Jarko unlocked the chains and shoved the key in his pocket. I tried to stand up, but that didn't work, I just fell backwards. "C'mon, you idiot." He muttered and pulled me up by my arm. Oh…my poor arm. I'm surprised that didn't fall off too. Danica smirked at me, gross I know, and left the room. Asher followed her and then Jarko and me. I wasn't willing to follow; Jackass just kind of dragged me out. They walked out of the big ass building and shoved me in the backseat of an SUV with Jackass. That's his new nickname for me if you haven't noticed.

So, Asher started to drive to God knows where. Danica's asshole, maybe, who knows? From the corner of my eye, I noticed that Jackass was glaring at me. So I just nonchalantly flipped him off and went back to dying, at least that's how it felt. Danica looked over at me and pouted a little.

"Poor, King. You'll be better soon, baby." I just rolled my eyes and flipped her off too. She scoffed a little and turned back forward. About ten minutes of glaring, finger gestures and scoffing passed when Asher stopped the car and got out. I lifted my head a little bit and looked around.

"Where the hell ar-" Was all I was able to get out before I got pulled out of the SUV and dragged off. "Okay. Thank you for the fore-warning." Jarko dragged me into some weird ass bar, which I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face. Not sure if it was because it was dark or I was going blind. Anyways, Danica walked by and grabbed my arm.

"You're going to love this place, baby." She told me and sat down at a booth. I went to go and sit away, far…far away, but she just pulled me back and sat me down next to her. "Don't worry; the party will be here soon." She whispered in my ear.

"Don't whisper in my ear…ever again." I told her and crossed my arms. Believe me when I say this, I wanted to run. I wanted to run like a fucking gazelle, but that wouldn't have worked because Jackass and Asher were at the front of the bar. You might be asking, why didn't you jump through a window?! And the response to that is, I'm not fucking Superman.

Well, Danica started to pet my head, which made me feel like a cat. The whole time you could hear me making obnoxious sounds to get her to stop, never worked, but I did them anyways. Soon enough, 'the party' arrived. They were a bunch of teenagers looking like they were going to piss themselves. There were about 50 of them. I looked around the bar and saw about 30 of us. We watched Asher walk over to them and bring over two of them, a boy and a girl. Danica grabbed the dude by his collar and dug her fangs in his neck.

"What the fuck?!" I asked and tried to get up, but she had a strong-ass grip on me. Not to mention, I still wasn't my regular strength. I looked over at the girl and she looked like she saw a ghost. I could tell she was terribly afraid of me. "Hey, it's okay. I won't do that. I swear." I told her. Danica dropped the kid and grabbed me by my neck.

"Oh yes you will, King." She told me, tightening her grip. "You won't be able to fight back until you do. Have you noticed how weak you are right now? You need to feed to get back that strength."

"Fuck you." I choked out. She loosened her grip on my nice neck and glared at me. _For a girl, she chokes fuckin' hard! _I thought to myself and glared back at the bitch. "If that's the only way I can get strong again, then I'll just have to get a Bowflex or something, now won't I?" Turning to the girl, she was still scared. "Go. Get out of here." I told her.

"Don't tell her what to do, King!" Danica told me.

"Oh, you gave her to me. I can tell her whatever the fuck I want too. If I want to tell her to go to the zoo and pick me up one of those stupid collectible flags, then she'll go and get me one. Alright, Danica?! And right now, I'm telling her to go!" I turned back to the girl, but she was gone. I smiled and crossed me arms once again, feeling a bit accomplished, and stronger then I was early. I guess it was adrenaline or something.

Suddenly, I heard a scream. "What?" I muttered and turned my head. Seeing Asher sucking the girl, that I just let go, dry, I clenched my fist. Danica just laughed manically.

"Aww, is my little Kingy Wingy angry?"

"Go fuck your brother like you did early, okay?" I spat at her.

"I think he is." She said 'seductively'. The chick grabbed my arm and spun me around.

"Get the fuck away from me!"

"But why, King?" She asked while coming closer to me. I went to back up, but my back ran into Jackass.

**R&R! Yaaay!**


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